Hadley Quinn

I can't believe she is really here and that she is our daughter... I knew that we were going to have a baby girl and we had done everything that most parents do to prepare for their child to come into this world. The reality still hadn't set in when I was in labor. Then Hadley Quinn Adams was born and my whole world changed as this miraculous little life arrived on October 24, 2010. Josh and I could not believe that she was our daughter, that God had blessed with such a sweet little life. The amazing miracle of having a child is something that changes you from the inside out like nothing else can. 

Hadley was 8 lbs. 12oz. and 21.5 inches long and arrived at 7:44pm. Her daddy delivered her into this world with some help from Dr. Erickson. He can now tell her that he is the first one in the world who got to hold her, then mommy. She is a growing girl and as we learn about her every day we are just more and more amazed.

Thankful through the stillness and the rain....

as i sit and enjoy the rain i can't help but reflect on the last six months and how much this stillness in God's beautiful creation was needed. he truly knows what he is doing, and yet i struggle to trust. it is in the stillness that i can truly hear and see what he is doing in life. stillness is needed much more often then here and there. as i sit at my in-laws cabin i can't be more thankful about all that I have been given right now. we have been blessed this year with more than i could of ever imagined. we are having a baby girl in two and a half months, i opened a dance studio with a dear friend and the amazing support of my husband, and God has provided for us in more ways than one even through the trials. patience is something i am learning to have more of and seems to be the theme in our household, although it isn't easy. i am just truly thankful for life right now. thankful for our family, friends, and all of those who love us and pray for us...thankful for baby girl adams and that she is healthy so far and movin like crazy! looking forward to what our future holds and what i have in front of me today. full of love and thankfulness.

new beginings

so here it is, the begining journey of a day in the life of the adams. i intend to communicate and update all of my loved ones on life's journey in the adams household. this is a huge step for me to communicate through technology because i truly love to be face to face when it comes to sharing life's special and challenging moments with friends and family. i look back on this first year of marriage and its amazing how god has just blessed us, molded us, and continues to do so each day. we have been challenged and blessed with loving each other, learning about each other, and growing together. this has taken concious decisions daily. i am so thankful that god gave me my best friend for life. i have learned that love is a lifelong journey of learning and choices. i just love to learn more and more about what it is that god wants to teach me and show me how much i am loved. he is truly the amazing. may all who walk into our lives be blessed.

The Hospital

I recently was in the hospital for a week and have you ever embraced the needs in a hospital. Oh my goodness it can be extremely overwhelming. There are so many different people, and stories that led each person into that large infrastructure. This crazy place can be a place of hope, tears, miracles, and sometimes  the end of the road here on earth that is. This is a place we should all spend a little more time. Even if its volunteering every once in a while. I almost think of it like a little mission close to home. I know weird...oh well.

I have never really appreciated nurses more than this last time in the hospital. They are God's little angels from above. Not all, but many of them. (I think some of them just haven't realized it yet:) They see so much every day, and yet many of them with their sweet touch and gentle voice can bring so much joy to one patient. Sometimes they are all that a patient has. The way that they comfort you, share their personal stories with you, and make sure that you are as comfortable as you can be. I had a nurse one night who felt just like my grandma was with me. She was so sweet and genuine, shared somewhat of her life story with me, and just brought so much comfort and joy to my bedside when I needed it most. I just thought what an amazing woman, she does this for so many people. Some people are extremely hard to deal with as patients in the hospital and that amazes me even more. Nurses do things to care for people that I question would their close loved ones even do.

Most of all at a  hospital their is so much opportunity to pray. To pray for so many, patients barely holding on, nurses praying that God will bless them and give them more patients, family members for comfort, and just that God would be seen in the midst of all of these circumstances. Even though there was so much chaos personally when I was there and I didn't get the answers I was looking for, I am thankful for my visit there. 

the drive

Driving from Arizona to California this week was refreshing...Just being alone in reflection was very much needed... All that is going on around me and in life I was stripped from for five hours and was able to think through, ponder, and pray about. Just thinking about my future the mystery of what is to come and the ways in which I want to be open to growing and changing in this time right now. Time with family and loved ones at home really caused me to look at myself and ask where do things need changing and transforming in my life, how can I be aware and open to this. The beauty of the mountains, desert, and nothingness surround me as I sat in silence for a while then listened to a man on CD by the name of Rick Mckinley. He was speaking on Heaven being here on earth which I know sounds absurd because realistically things seem more like its hell on earth these days. That was the beauty of it all...its God's working through us and transforming us to then work through us as humans to bring heaven here on earth through each others lives. What a beautiful thing. Its messy but amazing. There was an example that he gave of these two young women that wanted to find an apartment complex and help out any way they could. Why a random apartment complex? Well the girls found this random apartment complex and prayed about it before they actually went in to see what they could do to help out. It turned out to be a complex where they take young mothers who are given one last chance to turn their lives around and go through recovery for drug abuse and different things of the sort so that the government will let them keep their babies and raise their own children in healthy circumstances. The girls went in knowing that this is where they were led to serve and asked what they could do to help out. They started out by just watching and holding these babies while moms went to classes. People asked and were curious why the two girls were just hanging out to help. The girls just wanted to help there was no other explanation. They just had a heart after God and wanted to offer a helping hand with no obligation that they wanted these girls to go to church or necessarily influence them to become something; no expectations. It sounds sweet but the girls really struggled with being there. Attitudes and looks from the moms were given as the girls watched their babies because the moms had to go to classes. These two some what seemingly good girls were watching their kids. It was challenging. Its like doing something for someone to just help out and all you get is grief back...(who wants to do that) As time passed the girls really struggled to have patience but were determined to suffer through the grief. Eventually they got to know certain moms at the apartment complex and developed relationships with them. The mothers in the home were being loved and served for no reason by these two young girls. Invested time to hear the moms individual stories and dreams for the future were listened to. This love they were receiving was from God through these relationships, but had no idea. Some more people that the two girls knew came to start helping. There was this sense of community, love without expectation and without judgment, how it should be. ...the story goes on and faith and relationship with God is questioned....amazing..but overall isn't this how we should be living?
Oh how I am thankful for the I-10 drive...

struggles

Pushing through the sheets
You strain to see light
As the light holds to the white linen
The clouds of a silhouette through the sheet grow dim
The light of relief and joy that seemed close
No longer it remains
Tears of fear, questions will this darkness ever end
As you wonder and wait and wander some more
Choices, which does one make…
Questions, doubt.
Things become completely black
The memory of light which once remembered
Where is the silhouette that appeared just moments before
Do you hold onto the memory of it or let go
Truth comes to mind
As the thoughts of this so called truth seem very faint
Striving to remember the clarity in this truth
Just to catch a glimpse
As it appears a moment of being content draws near
Silence arrives the silhouette appears
All is calm as the heart is mended
The fight for life